CRIME AND PUNISHMENT........

Can it get any worse; morbid; sordid and scandalous than this.......
 Mumbai or more precisely Kalyan police sleuths late on Friday evening took two teenaged brothers into custody for allegedly sexually abusing a 6 year old boy from the same locality late on a rather fateful and unnerving Thursday night.......
According to the young boy's disbelieving and aghast father; this ghastly incident came to light late on Thursday night when the writhing and inconsolable six year old complained of excruciating pains in his nether regions and had to be rushed to an adjoining hospital as a result/corollary......
 The on duty doctor who performed a detailed examination of the distressed survivor's nether regions confirmed or then shed light on the irrefutable fact that he had suffered grievous internal regions in his nether regions as a result of multiple sodomisation attempts made on his budding persona.......
 He (the six year old patient) haltingly; reluctantly and tearfully revealed his tormentors identity while confiding that he refrained from doing the same for as long as he could bear the agony as his tormentors and torturers had threatened him with bodily harm if he as much let out a whimper about the gruesome fate that had befallen him.......
 Swinging into action without any further ado; armed and reinforced with the identity of the accused youths; the Kalyan police sleuths successfully managed to nab the two accused from a relatives' house at around 6 pm or so on Friday evening and produced the two before a judicial magistrate who remanded the two to a juvenile correctional facility or remand home.......
 Time to invoke the newly revamped juvenile justice act and treat the two monsters as adults methinks as punishment should always be commensurate with the enormity and gravity of the offence committed in my humble opinion.......

MELBOURNE RENEGADES' FOND HOPES GO UP IN SMOKE.......

Melbourne Renegades (Australian Big Bash League Franchise's) title hopes were literally hit for a towering six during the course of their last ball thriller against the Perth Scorchers on December 29 when their leading all rounder Dwayne Bravo was ruled out of the remainder of the tournament owing to a debilitating hamstring injury.......
 Avowed fans of the iconic domestic twenty 20 league might have witnessed the horrifying and revolting spectacle of Bravo writhing in pain and despair near the boundary ropes after diving and making a valiant effort to thwart a certain four and thereby causing considerable damage to both his as well as his team's immediate and future well being.......
 Dwayne who could not get back on his own two feet despite the formidable assistance provided to him by the team's physio as well as his own concerned team mates finally had to be stretchered off and a series of scans that he underwent at a neighbouring hospital confirmed both his as well as his team's worst fears as the same revealed that he had torn his hamstring muscles and tissues in two separate places and will therefore have to go under the knife......
 Hospital sources duly confirmed that Mr. Bravo will undergo a rather extensive surgery lasting up to six hours or so in an effort to repair his severely damaged body parts and will hence be laid low for a minimum of 24-32 weeks after the surgery as he will have to undergo a painstaking and far reaching rehabilitative and recuperative restorative regime following the surgery........
 The formidable West Indian all rounders absence was immediately felt by the team as skipper Aaron Finch was forced to deliver the last over of the match in a seemingly heroic though increasingly futile effort to defend the nine runs required by the marauding Perth Scorchers team that was on course to register it's second victory during the course of the ongoing tournament........
Lo and behold!!! Finch delivered five near perfect deliveries that all but put paid to the Scorchers hopes as the two on field batters Michael Klinger and Ashton Agar could only garner a measly 3 runs during the course of the same......
 "Cometh the hour; cometh the hero" and Agar proved to be his team's "knight in shining armour" as he duly deposited the juicy/amiable full toss delivered by Finch some 15 or so odd rows into the stands behind the deep mid wicket fieldsman netting his team a hard fought though thoroughly deserved victory and rekindling his team's efforts to net the much coveted trophy after a year long hiatus or bleak spell.......
 As for the Renegades' they will literally have to pull the proverbial "rabbit out of the bag" and discover their very own "resurrection man" as Dwayne Bravo will definitely not be able to don this role for a long time to come.........

WELCOME AND MUCH AWAITED NEWS.......

Here is some welcome and much awaited news for the legions of Dharam Paaji's fans who literally worship the living legend and try and emulate him every which way they can........
 According to a statement released by the medical superintendent of the Mumbai based Nanavati Hopsital; the 81 year old original and evergreen "Punjab Da Puttar" was released from the hospital on the late evening of December 27; 2016 after a nearly week long stay in the very same medical facility.......
 Most if not all of Paaji's fans would be well aware of the fact that this larger than life living legend was admitted to the afore mentioned hospital on the forenoon of December 21st with all the classic symptoms of acute gastroentritis; intestinal discomfort/infection and last but not the least diarrhoea; intestinal cramps; high fever;nausea and vomitting.......
The recommended course of antibiotic and microbial treatment recommended by the team of specialists expressly constituted to surreptitiously and symptomatically treat the ailing thespian seems to have worked wonders and done the irreplaceable "He Man" a world of good and he is back at home where he well and truly belongs........
 Assuaging the concerns of his millions of well wishers and ardent fans; Dharamji took to his twitter page and sent or then put out a series of tweets graciously and conscientiously acknowledging the wishes; prayers and utterances of his fans wishing him a speedy; restorative and complete recovery and quipped that he found himself back on his feet sooner than expected entirely due to the unconditional and overwhelming love and affection of his friends; fellows; countrymen and fans....... He also squarely laid the blame for his condition on supposedly and allegedly contaminated and toxic airline food consumed or imbibed by him on board an Air India Delhi-Jaipur flight and promised to be doubly careful and vigilant about consuming such on flight meals and condiments in the future what with frequent flyers complaining about crawling cockroaches and what not within the confines of the now infamous and accursed in flight refreshments served on the so called national carriers numerous flights........
Here's wishing Dharam Paaji a minimum of twenty more years of life; love; laughter; health; prosperity; love; affection and unparalleled cinematic achievements and triumphs that will go down in the annals of Indian Film History........

NAWAZUDDIN'S LATEST ON SCREEN EXPLOSION......

Notwithstanding the seemingly insane; crude; obnoxious; decadent and depraved antics of Messrs Pahlaj Nihalani and company; the teaser trailer/ promos of iconic actor Nawazuddin Siddiqui's latest venture "Haramkhor" are out for all to see and are grabing eye balls and attention in equal measure across a plethora of social networking platforms/sites......
 Co-starring the upcoming/promising and multi faceted Shweta Tripathi of "Masaan" fame the above/afore mentioned flick fell foul with the much maligned and lampooned Central Board for Film Certification (CBFC) as it supposedly caused untold harm to age old Indian social more/customs and so called sacrosanct traditions........
 "Haramkhor" once again has Nawaz digging into his innermost recesses/crevices and dishing out a character that is repulsive/repugnant/revolting/riveting and you still can't take your eyes of him for a moment and he literally grabs you by the throat and only lets go when the end credits begin rolling onscreen.......
 Slated for a midsummer 2017 release "Haramkhor" will only serve to yet again establish Nawaz's already proven credentials as one of the nation's if not world cinemas brightest and most translucent talents who only seem to be getting more polished and suave with every passing release and on screen celebration.......
 As for Ms. Tripathi she wowed both thinking/discerning/ informed and educated audiences with her all too rare exploits in "Masaan" and if anything only takes her already proven and established acting skills to a rareified stratosphere with this one.......
 Here's wishing this unparalleled and iconic duo many more such cinematic triumphs and controversies that ensure that they always remain in the spotlight and media glare till they draw their last breaths.......

ON "KATHAKAAR" AND RELATED MATTERS.......

Short; to the point; blunt; staccato; heart rending; thought provoking; evocative; profound; epochal and stereo type defying short films are surely the new flavour of the season and the way to go......
The latest kid on the bandwagon is none other than poet; playwright; activist; lyricist; script and screenplay writer; narrator; director; actor par excellence and activist Piyush Mishra's simply mesmerising; brilliant and enthralling 20 odd minute short film titled "kathakaar" that has literally grabbed "you tube" by it's very eye balls and everything else that it can latch on to.......
 Piyush who is better known for his forays into live theatre or then plays and the like literally sinks his teeth into this once of it's kind in a lifetime role that sees him essaying the utterly believable and poignant role of an all but down and out "kathakaar" or storyteller who has literally nothing but to fall back upon apart from his almost defunct oratorial skills and how the very same see him rising like the proverbial phoenix and reclaiming his lost place in the acting firmament.......
 More than adroitly and masterfully directed by the hitherto unknown and unheralded Abhimanyu Kanodia; "Kathakaar" has been doing the rounds of a plethora of international film festivals and the like for the last few months garnering awards; plaudits and accolades by the bushelful in the bargain and will now be competing for the much coveted Jio Filmfare Short Film Award 2017 in the second week of the New Year.......
 Here's wishing this rare gem many more such accolades; awards; honours; encomiums; plaudits et all and much more than it's more than due fifteen minutes of fame and glory........

RULING THE ROOST AND HOW.......

Akshay "Khiladi" Kumar who ruled the roost at the desi or then domestic box office during 2016 and is currently enjoying a restful and recuperative year ending sojourn with his family at an undisclosed location too to his Instagram account and posted a rather intriguing and beguiling still photograph........
 Rajiv Hari Om Bhatia (Akshay's nom de guerre) posted a photograph or then a breath taking silhouette of his preening self with the resplendent and mesmerising golden sun sinking below the horizon or then the innermost depths of the gargantuan ocean in the immediate background....... Eagerly awaiting the release of his next thought provoking Neeraj Pandey helmed social satire "Toilet: Ek Prem Katha" which is an unique and evocative take on the much hyped and debated "swachch Bharat" abhiyaan as well as other inerxorably interlinked issues; Akshay has just wrapped up the last shooting schedule of "Jolly LLB 2" and will begin dubbin his lines for the same in the first week of the New Year i.e. 2017........
 Here's hoping that Akshay does one better in 2017 and constantly keeps churning out films that not only rock the box office but also throw up pertinent and soul searching questions and queries about both government programmes/initiatives as well as other social ills and stigmas plaguing out glorious and venerated motherland......

UNTAINTED AND UNBLEMISHED........

Here is some much awaited and anticipated news that should gladden the hearts of millions or then should I say legions of cricketing fans in general and avowed fans of team Hong Kong in particular.......
 Nizakat Khan who is primarily known for his exploits with the willow in hand what with him averaging a little in excess of 35 in the One Day Internationals that he has represented his country in thus far has been cleared to twirl his arm over and bowl/deliver his more than handy leg spinners after an ICC accredited testing laboratory in Australia cleared his much debated and allegedly suspect bowling action.......
 Khan was banned from bowling both off as well as leg spin at the international level after the two on field umpires as well as the match referee deemed his bowling action as "illegal" as the triumvirate was of the informed opinion that he seemed to be bending or then flexing his bowling arm well beyond the legally permissible and ordained 15 degree limit during the course of an international fixture against the Nepalese cricket team during the course of a bilateral fixture between the two teams way back in April 2016........
 This emerging all rounder who was initially devastated and dismayed by the ICC's action to ban him from bowling at the international level however strengthened his resolve and solely dedicated himself to the noteworthy cause of clearing his allegedly tainted bowling action under the expert tutelage and guidance of former Zimbabwean skipper and off spinner John Traicos.......
 Traicos took the youngster under his wings for the best part of six odd months and arduously spent hour after hour in the nets making the necessary and much sought after finer refinements to Khan's so called "illegal" action as a result of which he was successfully able to undergo a series of tests under the watchful and eagle eye of the 32 odd cameras positioned within the length and breadth of the Brisbane based National Cricket Centre on December 6;2016.......
 The much awaited and anticipated results were finally out for all to see on the late evening of December 23 (Hong Kong time) and according to the findings of the specialists based within the said testing facility Nizakat could continue bowling his favoured and preferred leg spinners as he was not flexing his arm above and beyond 9.5 to 10.5 degrees while bowling five or six different variations (which was well below the ordained and desirable 15 degree limit)........
 He has however still not been cleared to bowl his lesser favoured and preferred off spinners as he did not deliver the same during the same during the course of the barrage of tests he was subjected to but his leg spinners will more than suffice for the moment as he boasts of the enviable averages of 3.67 in ODI's and a superlative 5.30 in T 20's while turning out in his national or then should I say cricketing colours at the highest level.......
 As the wise men who preceded us famously said the sun does indeed dawn the brightest after the passing of the darkest hour and the age old dictum more than applies to a certain Nizakat Khan and every fawning fan of the men from Hong Kong......

WISHING DHARAM PAAJI A SPEEDY AND COMPLETE RECOVERY.........

Dharam Paaji who celebrated his 81st birthday just about a fortnight or so ago sent all his avowed and fawning fans including yours truly into a tizzy and fits of trepidation when he was admitted to a Mumbai based hospital recently.......
 According to family sources the eternal; evergreen and original "he man" of the Hindi film industry was shifted to the city's (Mumbai's) famed and age old Nanavati Hospital at around 4 pm or so on the late afternoon of December 20 as he was afflicted with the twin maladies of gastroentritis and a severe and excruciatingly painful intestinal infection that caused other related complications....... Concerned family members rushed him to the said hospital in a jiffy and the team of doctors attending on him immediately set about administering the requisite and mandated dose of antibiotics and other diarrhoeal dosages in order to arrest and contain his intestinal distress; rapidly increasing temperature and other resulting complications........
 "His condition is being closely and minutely monitored by a crack team of specialists led by a highly experienced and qualified gastroenterologist on a round the clock basis and he is responding more than adequately to the treatment being administered to him by the said team of doctors"; a statement released on behalf of the medical superintendent read.......
 "There is no immediate cause for concern and Mr. Dharmendra should be discharged either on December 22 nd or the morning of December 23rd at the latest as he is well on the road towards making a speedy and complete recovery"; the very same statement concluded.......
 Here's wishing this humble; ubiquitous; unassuming and divine soul a speedy; complete; restoring and resounding recovery and wishing him a quarter century of health; longevity and unparalleled cinematic achievements and glories.......

INADVERTENT/UNWITTING COMEDY OF ERRORS........

Much ado about nothing; unwitting comedy of errors or then misplaced hysteria and utterly avoidable paranoia you can call it by any name or nomenclature you desire.......
 An unclaimed; nondescript; stereotypical though seemingly expensive and suave leather satchel or executive bag innocently lying on a footpath opposite a nationalised bank's branch in Allahabad city's Civil Lines area on a typically barmy Thursday December afternoon literally and figuratively sent the police sleuths into a tizzy and frenzy that lasted the best part of some three odd hours.......
 This object of curiosity; trepidation; and last but not the least morbid and inexplicable fear was discovered or unearthed by a gent who was making his way into the said bank premises and he promptly proceeded to inform the local police sleuths who rushed over to the spot within a matter of minutes and subsequently proceeded to "cordon" of the area......
 They firstly proceeded to disdainfully order all the concerned bank officials/staff/personnel; customers and other bystanders who had by then gathered there wondering what the hulabaloo was all about and asked them to observe proceedings from a supposedly safe distance of some 500 or so metres away.......
 After some mutual discussions and confabulations they then took the supposedly sage and philosophical decision to summon the city's bomb disposal squad and entrust the onerous task and responsibility of unearthing or then unravelling the contents of the "mysterious" and seemingly deathly bag to them......
 Bomb disposal squad personnel arrived at the designated spot within some thirty odd minutes of being summoned and as per their pre ordained script and laid down procedures firstly secured the crime scene; meticulously lifted the bag with a pair of pliers/tongs or the like and then cautiously proceeded to open the same only to discover that the same contained nothing more than a few official documents that revealed the identity of the owner of the same; a few toiletries and last but not the least around some five odd thousand rupees in cash........
 The gent who owned the bag was summarily summoned to the very spot where he had forgotten his bag in his undue and unseemly haste to wend his way back to his workplace after having withdrawn the much needed Rs. 12;000/- that he required for his immediate and pressing needs and soundly abused with the choicest epithets by both the police personnel as well as bomb disposal squad denizens for having wasted their time and the like.......
 All's well that ends well or then a bunch of fools who are better suited to tracing Azam Khan's missing buffaloes every single time they decide to saunter out on their very own; well I will let you draw your very own conclusions........

"PATANG" (THE MURDEROUS AND VENGEFUL KITE)........

It has been eons or then many many moons since I penned a book review but Bhaskar Chattopadhyay's "Patang" (Kite) literally forced or then coerced me into doing so......
 240 odd pages of sheer savagery; blood; gore; savagery; intensity; single minded determination; clones; copy cats; intrigue; bone chilling atmospherics; deductions; detection; I can go on and on till the cows come home; "Patang" is indeed one of those once in a lifetime "whodunits" that will keep you wide awake till the wee hours of the morning.......
 It all begins with four mind boggling and inexorably mystifying murders during the worst ever monsoons experienced by the nation's commercial capital (Mumbai) that literally leave the supposedly most professional and adroit police force within Mother India looking like a bunch of bungling nincompoops literally clutching at straws and hoping against hope for a miracle......
 Yes; the much sought after miracle does indeed happen in the persona and physical form of a wizened and world weary former crime reporter aka maverick investigator Chandrakant Pandit who marches to the beat of his own bagpiper and follows or then subscribes to a crime detection manual of his very own making.....
 Pandit does more than successfully (almost single handedly) manage to apprehend the killer; psychopath or then mass murderer (depending on your whim and fancy) after about 130 odd pages into the racy and rivetting narrative and leaves the mandarins within the annals of the Mumbai Police patting their own banks and preening or then basking in reflected glory (a dubious art that any and every existing police force within the country seems to have perfected and mastered).......
 Lo and behold!!!! it all begins after a utterly misleading and stuporific three month long lull setting in motion a series of events and occurrences that leave you gasping for breath; wide eyed; terrorised and trying to do one better than the copy cat killer trying to preempt his/her next move in this mind boggling cat and mouse game between the two protagonists........
 Yes the rather steep cover price of rs. 350/- is indeed a bit of a dampener but then there is a silver lining to every literally dark and threatening cloud and the same comes in the form of the 23% discount off the cover price offered by the folks at Flipkart and the best things in life do come with a price tag attached almost every single time.......
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Bhaskar Chattopadhyay is an unparalleled author/ translator and chronicler par excellence who embarked upon his writing career with a best selling anthology of short stories titled "14 stories that inspired Satyajit Ray" and subsequently went on to translate many an immortal work from his native Bengali into the Queen's English.......
 Currently residing in Namma Bengaluru with his better half and two sons Ishaan and Emon "Patang" is the author's first effort at penning a fast-paced and spine chilling thriller whose twists and turns leave you in a tizzy and mind tingling tail spin........

QUESTION MARKS AND LINGERING DOUBTS......

Yours truly is constrained to refrain from his usual/ nocturnal/ customary/ age old practice/habit of posting two rather lengthy harrowing or then thought provoking articles or then pieces of information owing to excruciatingly and infuriatingly slow internet speeds..........
 A message sent out by my service provider (Airtel) says something to the effect that the rampaging cyclone that hit both the Tamil Nadu as well as Andhra coasts as little as 24 hours ago caused considerable damage to their under sea cables or fibre cables (I am one of those technologically challenged folks you see) and that no effort is being spared in order to restore normal services as soon as humanly possible......
 And all this in a day and age when we claim to be going digital and taking rapid strides towards evolving from a cash infested to cashless economy as envisaged by Messrs Modi and Jaitley....... Raises both question marks and gargantuan doubts in my mind as to whether this is indeed a work in progress or yet another trademark "jumla" of our incumbent prime minister who has perfected the art of making these puns and tongue in cheek remarks with panache and elan

MAYHEM; MURDER AND CRIME SPREE.......

Beware the wrath of a vengeful gent who can neither control/subdue his beastly side or then get the better of the same every single time it rears it's heinous and sinister head.......
 A qualified and astute air conditioner;television and other household appliances Seoni town (Madhya Pradesh) based mechanic/technician went on a murderous spree late on Saturday night and enjoyed a few hours of freedom before he was apprehended by the Madhya Pradesh Police sleuths at around 10 am or so on Sunday morning.......
 According to highly ranked police officials; the main accused 38 year old Nagendra Thackarey was particularly incensed; infuriated; chagrined and vexed by his brother in laws growing penchant of regularly borrowing his hard earned money with increasing regularity and failing to repay the same whenever promised.......
Matters/issues however came to a head/culmination on that particularly bloody and fateful Saturday night when Thackarey returned home at around 11 pm or so after attending to his ordained duties in Jabalpur only to discover that his brother-in-law had somehow or the other managed to convince his married sister into parting with the Rs 1.75 lakhs or so that he had painstakingly put together in order to buy a plot of land in the immediate vicinity of his home and hearth.........
 Having reached the end of his tether a raging and rampaging Nagendra laid his hands on a conveniently placed pick axe made his way towards his nemesis's (brother-in-law Shailendra Patle's) neighbouring dwelling and proceeded to hack him to death with a series of well placed and almost clinical blows with his chosen weapon of destruction........
 Fearing for his life and limb; he then surreptitiously made his way back to his very own home and hearth where he proceeded to rain a series of blows on his blissfully slumbering mother; wife and elder daughter but could not bring himself to either injure his most precious and cherished four year old younger daughter who was the sole eye witness to her father's murderous rampage........ Thackarey's aged mother subsequently breathed her last after two odd hours of being admitted to a nearby super speciality hospital despite the on duty doctor's tireless effort while his wife and elder daughter are still battling for their respective lives and their condition is slated as critical.......
 Police sleuths who arrived at the hospital after being summoned by the medical superintendent of the said hospital almost miraculously managed to extract an eye witness account from the wide eyed and bewildered four year old who squarely named her father as the mass murderer; subsequently did a recce of the crime scene; recovered the murder weapon and constituted two teams to apprehend the accused at the earliest; one of which successfully managed to subdue him from an acquaintances modest dwelling within hours of being entrusted with the onerous responsibility.........
 The main accused who has since voluntarily confessed to his crime most foul in the presence of the legally mandated judicial magistrate has since been remanded to fourteen days of judicial custody and is currently being watched by the jail authorities with an eagle eye as he has reportedly slipped into a deep depression and recess of self pity and recrimination and the jail authorities want to nip or then thwart any thoughts he might harbour of ending his own life rather prematurely and painfully.......

CRIME INFESTED AND RIDDEN STATE........

Atrocities; crimes and untold miseries continue unabated in Akhilesh Yadav's Uttar Pradesh while the official administration continues with the charade of simply looking the other way and conveniently condoning all such monstroities......
 In the latest grotesque; malicious and rapacious incident to make the headlines; a 21 year old young woman who answered to the name of Poonam Saini passed away enroute to a Delhi super speciality Hospital late on Saturday night after she was willfully and wantonly set ablaze by her immediate neighbours........
 According to the SHO Majhola police station (Moradabad City); Ms. Saini in her dying declaration duly recorded by a district magistrate painfully and haltingly alluded to the fact that she was repeatedly and continually sexually harassed and violated by her immediate neighbour one Shiv Dutt Saini........
 Having run out of forbearance; patience and fortitude; Poonam registered three official complaints against the main accused at the neighbouring police thana; but this if anything only served to galvanise their demonism and provide further impetus to their crime spree as the incidents of harassment and sexual misconduct increased multifold after the police complaints were filed.......
 Matters however came to a gruesome and grizzly climax on the particularly fateful and eventful late Saturday afternoon when Saini junior and senior (Mahipal Saini) unceremoniously barged into the deceased's home and hearth without as much as a by your leave while her mother was performing her ablutions in the adjoining bathroom; doused her from head to toe with kerosene that they had carried in a five litre plastic can (the same was recovered from the crime scene) and disdainfully and hellishly proceeded to set her ablaze before making good their escape from the immediate vicinity.........
 Alerted by her beloved daughter's heart rending and piteous cries for help and blood curdling yelps of pain and agony the dear departed's mother rushed to her aid only to be confronted with a raging inferno that was doused with considerable difficulty by the distraught mother and equally disturbed neighbours with the greatest of difficulty........
 Poonam who had suffered approximately 80% burns before the flames that had engulfed her in their embrace were doused (according to the doctors who initially attended to her at the woefully ill equipped and short handed state government run Moradabad District Hospital) was subsequently referred to a supposedly better equipped hospital in the nearby Meerut city......
 Doctors at the said Meerut Hospital firstly summoned senior police officials and the district magistrate who duly recorded her dying declaration wherein she named the two accused who had reduced her to this unimaginable state and predicament and subsequently referred her to the national capital's Safdarjung Hospital as they neither had the skills; expertise; medicines and other medical equipment required to treat a highly critical patient in this precarious condition........
 An ambulance was arranged post haste to shift the critically injured 21 year old to the above mentioned hospital but she breathed her last enroute well before the ambulance could reach it's ordained destination........
A case has since been registered against the "wanted" father and son duo who still remain at large under all the relevant and applicable sections of the Indian Penal Code and all this while the chief minister and his acolytes cannot stop patting themselves on the back and tom tomming their so called achievements during their four and a half year rule of this crime infested and ridden state........

AKSHAY KUMAR LEADS THE WAY YET AGAIN.......

This golden hearted human beings right hand almost certainly does not know what his left is doing almost every single time.....
 Akshay "Khiladi" Kumar has gone and does it again; after selflessly and admirably reaching out to the war veterans during their titanic struggle for the long delayed "OROP"; farmers from the drought prone Vidarbha region who had started taking or then prematurely extinguishing their very own lives owing to accumulated farm loans and such other reasons and so on and so forth.......
 This time around Akshay has without as much as a murmur stepped forward and deposited a sum of Rs. 9 lakh in the bank account of Rajasthan's martyred rifleman Prabhu Singh whose mortal remains were mutilated by the retreating Pakistani cowards who stealthily made their way back to friendly climes after perpetrating this untold monstroity.......
 Confirming the news a gratuitous and overwhelmed Chandra Singh (bereaved father of India's brave son Prabhu Singh) remarked that Akshay Ji was moved beyond words when the news of Prabhu Singh and two other soldiers martyrdom on the Line Of Control on November 22; 2016 percolated down to him while wrapping up the final shooting schedule of his much awaited comic legal caper "Jolly LLB 2".......
 Without any further ado; Akshay somehow or the other managed to extricate the contact details of rifleman Prabhu Singh's family from the concerned defence mandarins called up his devastated father and expedited the transfer of the above mentioned amount in the latter's bank account of facilitating the further education of the martyr's six month old daughter as well as the impending nuptials and further education of his three younger sisters........
 Wiping away his tears; Singh senior remarked that though the pain of losing his biological son will haunt him till his dying day the very same pain has been obviated; truncated and alleviated by his new found son who has not only deposited the said amount in the account of a besieged and ravaged family that was mourning the loss of it's sole bread winner but also held out the promise to do more than is required as and when the indomitable rifleman's family needs him by their side........
 One only hopes that Messrs Vasundhara Raje; Nitin Parrikar; Narendra Modi; serving Army Chief and others of their ilk are listening and reading........

SANJAY DUTT IS BACK TO DOING WHAT HE KNOWS BEST.......

Here is some much anticipated news that should certainly have all avowed and die hard Sanjay Dutt (Baba) fans cavorting; dancing; prancing; celebrating and dancing in the aisles.......
 Baba who was biding his time and spending considerable time on priming his already enviable abs and torso after duly serving out his court ordained jail sentence will shortly commence shooting for his much awaited and anticipated comeback venture.....
 Helmed by the celebrated and decorated Omung Kumar of "Mary Kom" and "Sarbjit" fame; Dutt junior's comeback venture tentatively titled "Bhoomi" will go on the floors with a slated 50 odd day long start to finish shooting schedule in the first week of February 2017........
 Sanjay who recently celebrated his 56th or then was it his 58th birthday will be portraying the onscreen father of a teenaged daughter in this intense; heart stirring and soul searing no holds barred drama that will portray a father-daughter relationship in all it's dimensions and true colours in the hitherto unexplored and unexploited hinterlands of India' most populous state Uttar Pradesh........
"Bhoomi" will explode worldwide across silver screens on August 4; 2017 after all the due processes like dubbing; editing; remixing; sound editing and the like are completed to the director's satisfaction and I for one will certainly be queuing to watch this one as Baba has been one of my most admired actors and human beings for the last three decades or so........

ON "AASHIQUI 3" AND SUCH OTHER MATTERS.......

After wowing both fawning audiences as well as carping critics with her mind blowing performance (on screen antics) in her latest box office super success "Dear Zindagi" Alia Bhatt seems all set to do an encore........
According to news emanating from the camp of the much sought after cagey/reclusive and secretive director Mohit Suri of Ek Villain fame Alia will be essaying the role of a singer/crooner/performer in the third instalment of the eternal "Aashiqui" Series........
 Elaborating further; the insider said that Alia's younger sister Shaheen Bhatt is currently fine tuning/firming or then giving final touches to the closely guarded script which is being tweaked to suit the histrionic talents of the male lead and Alia's rumoured love interest Siddharth Malhotra........
 Mohit is currently scouting both the length and breadth of the country as well as foreign locales for shooting locations that will leave audiences gaping in amazement and begging for more according to the insider who seemed to be overwhelmed with excitement and enthusiasm.......
 Tentatively slated to go on the floors in January/February 2017 this much awaited third coming of the ultra romantic and saccharine sweet "Aashiqui" series/franchise is aiming for an early 2018 release.......

SWANKY AND REFURBISHED SARDAR PATEL GUJARAT CRICKET STADIUM.......

After dominating the headlines/airwaves for all the wrong reasons off late (laying off employees; reneging of/on contracts so on and so forth) ; the Larsen and Toubro (L and T) bigwigs have a reason to smile at long last.......
 According to sources within the supposedly hallowed precincts or then corridors of the Amit Shah helmed Gujarat Cricket Association the long cherished dream of both Prime Minister Narendra Modi and Amit Shah about making the existing Sardar Patel Ground at Motera the largest cricket ground in the world (in terms of seating capacity) cam one step closer to fruition when the Cricket Association signed a comprehensive and all pervasive agreement with the afore mentioned L and T bigwigs for a complete refurbishment and refitment of the existing stadium......
 As per the terms and conditions of the agreement signed between the two consenting and willing parties at the auspicious/anointed hour of 5 pm on Thursday December 8; 2016 the existing structures will be completely razed to the ground and a swanking new edifice more than capable of accommodating/ more than comfortably seating an astounding/astonishing 1 lakh 10 thousand avid and screaming cricketing afficionados/patrons will be raised in it's place.......
When completed as scheduled in the second half of 2018 (if everything goes as envisaged) the massive monolith will ensconce a little over 1;10,000 spectators almost 10,000 spectators more than the humongous/gargantuan Melbourne Cricket Ground that can contain 100;024 people within it;s welcoming and embracing hold at present.........
 Gushing forth on the complexion of the proposed ground which is being constructed under the incumbent Prime Minister as well as Bharatiya Janata Party National President's expert guidance; a senior GCA official could not but help waxing eloquent on the proposed structure that will be dotted with scores of swanky air conditioned and state of the art corporate boxes/suites; iconic first of it's kind pavilions/dressing rooms for both the home and visiting teams.......
 Functional/modern/water conserving and self sustaining toilet facilities and more than comfortable ergonomic seating for the paying spectators and last but not the least a swashbuckling and jaw dropping press/media box which will boast of facilities that other stadiums in the world can only dream off........
 Here's hoping and praying that this dream venture does indeed live up to all the hype/hoopla/euphoria and underlying excitement surrounding the same and ends up doing Messrs Modi/Shah Gujarat and the whole of the nation proud when completed......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DHARAM PAAJI.......

Now here is one filmi or then should I say Hindi Film Industry friendship that has more than withstood every trial; tribulation; vagary; brickbat and rock hurtled at it by both father time; doubters and naysayers.......
 Can one forget their immortal "bromances" as the rugged; ravaged; rustic and world weary Jai and Veeru in the iconic and evergreen "Sholay" or their inimitable antics in the rollicking comedy caper entitled "Chupke Chupke; unforgettables like "Ram Balram" and many such notable others.......
 Reinforcing; reaffirming and underlining or then reconfirming this undying friendship that has lasted four decades and more; living legend Amitabh Bachchan took to twitter to post his heartfelt and gushing birthday wishes to his beloved "Dharam Ji" who will be celebrating his 81st birthday on Thursday (December 8; 2016)......
 They more than taught us what friendship and bonhomie really means in Sholay and have once again retaught us the true essence of friendship and fraternity with the series of everlasting photographs of the warmest and most cordial moments spent in each other's company down the ages (kindly visit Amitji's twitter handle for a walk down memory lane).......
 Way to go Amitji and Dharam Paaji here's wishing you anothet twenty five years of friendship; bonding; untold successes and shared intimate/intensely private and endearing moments that warm the cockles of your die hard fan's hearts and follow in your divine footsteps.......

CRYING NEED OF THE HOUR........

You may either be in complete agreement with me or then vehemently disagree with me; but I for one steadfastly and resolutely believe that a stringent and foolproof law that makes all atrocities perpetrated against animals a cognisable offence within a minimum jail sentence of two years.......
 In the latest barbaric such atrocity wreaked on a trusting; believing; gullible and loving canine a beastly and demonic long term resident of the national capital's Palam Area allegedly hacked off the two forelegs of a stray six month or so old puppy on a typically blustery December (Tuesday) late evening......
 According to a startled; chagrined and disbelieving eye witness who rushed to the copiously bleeding and mortally injured mongrel's aid; the demon masquerading as a gent lured the pup into his home and hearth by luring it with the promise of a much desired chapati or then humble roti.......
 True to it's nature and arraigned behaviour; the pup started wagging it's tail with unbridled fervour and started prancing all over him as a result of which it's paws ended up inflicting a trivial and pithy scratch on one of the depraved man's legs.......
 Incensed and infuriated beyond all reasonable belief; the gent stormed into his abode and returned with a menacing looking knife with which he proceeded to hack off the two tiny forelegs of the stray dog who was more than willing to trust it's supposed benefactor with it's life and security........
He then stormed off in what seemed to be a drunken stupor leaving the copiously injured pup in an alarmingly increasingly pool of it's very own life blood before the eyewitness rushed to it's aid and rushed it to the nearest Blue Cross centre where a life saving surgery was performed on it in order to stem the bleeding and repair the damage heaped on it........
 A case has since been registered against the absconding perpetrator under the utterly meaningless and toothless section 11 of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Act and an alert has been sent to all adjoining and neighbouring police stations to apprehend the gent who has since been identified as one Pramod a habitual drunkard and notorious trouble maker.......
 Which brings us back to square one and the crying need for a telling law against all such unmentionable atrocities and animal right violations.........

ANNOUNCING THE "GOLDEN TWEET" OF 2016........

The plaudits; encomiums; honours; awards and blessings certainly seem to be pouring in for team India Test Captain and arguably best batsman on planet earth Virat Kohli........
 Kohli who was last seen gallivanting; prancing around and dancing with gay abandon in tandem with long time beau and companion Anushka Sharma during the course of close buddy and fellow cricketer Yuvraj Singh's recent nuptials has now added one more feather to his already burgeoning cap.......
 Currently basking in the cricketing limelight after having creditably led team India to an unassailable and impregnable 2-0 lead in the ongoing test series against the English Lions; Virat's tweet in unstinted and unyielding or then staunch support of his lady love in which he lambasted and lampooned self appointed and anointed critics and nay sayers/haters for trolling and disparaging Anushka was on Tuesday evening crowned or the anointed as the "Golden Tweet" of the year 2016 by the folks or then powers that be within the annals of Twitter India........
According to Twitter India sources; Prime Minister Narendra Modi's tweet pertaining to the much debated and dissected "demonetisation policy" garnered an unbelievable and astounding 6.5 lakh plus eyeballs or then views within a 24 hour time frame but Virat's afore mentioned tweet was deemed to be the best in the business for it's topicality; candidness and all too rare quality'trait of putting undying love and sublime human emotions above all else........
 This round certainly went to Virat; here;s looking forward to the next round between the nation's cricketing and political icons....

LONG LIVE DILIP SAAB........

This piece/nugget/bit of information/ news pertaining to the living legend Yusuf Khan aka Dilip Kumar must certainly have sent the alarm bells ringing amongst the legions of fans of this legendary and incomparable actor........
According to news emanating from sources closely associated with Dilip Saab's family; the legendary actor was rushed to Mumbai's famed Leelavati Hospital a little after 10 am on Tuesday morning after his better half; famed former/erstwhile actress Saira Banu noticed an alarming swelling/some kind of protrusion on his right leg......
 Elaborating further; the family's trusted male domestic help and caretaker for the last three decades and more alludes to the fact that Saab was complaining of chest congestion; constant headache; acute discomfort in the chest region as well as palpitations and madam who breaks into hives as soon as Saab's health takes a turn for the worse only thought it prudent to rush him post haste to the tried and trusted hospital where doctors have been treating the thespian for the last four decades and more.....
 Alarmed and chagrined family members who made a beeline for the hospital as soon as the news percolated down about Dilip Saab's seemingly precarious health condition set all underlying as well as illusionary fears to rest by quipping that Saab was being subjected to a battery of tests by the team of specialists monitoring his health on a minute by minute basis and the doctors are extremely optimistic about his chances of making a completely recovery and ushering in or then celebrating his 94th birthday on Sunday December 11; 2016 with friends; family and fawning fans with the customary gaiety; hullabaloo; fanfare and gusto......
 Here's wishing Dilip Saab a miraculous recovery; prolonged and renewed lease of good health and a minimum of fourscore more birthdays and celebrations........

CHECK OUT PRIME MINISTER MODI'S LATEST DIE HARD FAN........

I for one am willing to bet my last rupee on the fact that even an incorrigible optimist like Prime Minister Narendra Modi would not have foreseen his much heralded and debated "demonetisation" initiative drawing praise and unstinted support from this quarter.....
 Believe it or not; erstwhile WWE World Champion Dalip Singh Rana aka "The Great Khali" has reaffirmed his steadfast belief in the historical precedent announced by the Prime Minister on the late evening of November 8;2016.......
 Posting a series of tweets as well as a photograph of his self posing with Mr. Modi; Khali who runs a Wrestling Training Institute expressly meant for according aspiring wrestlers the prized opportunity of doing the nation proud at the highest level wholesomely praised the prime minister for his foresight and courage and lambasted all the naysayers and doubters who were crying themselves hoarse........
 He further went on to exhort all fellow Indians to bear the momentary discomfiture and teething problems with fortitude and exemplary graciousness and goodwill as there are moments in a nation's history where the greater good has to take precedence over individual conveniences and creature comforts.......
Citing his own example; Khali quipped that he would not die or then pass away prematurely if he significantly reduced his ordained daily intake of milk; eggs; chicken and dry fruits as long as his individual sacrifice benefited the nation as a whole in the long run......
 Messrs Rahul Gandhi; Mamata Banerjee; Sitaram Yechury; Mulayam Singh Yadav and Sharad yadav are you listening????

CAN IT GET ANY MORE BIZARRE AND LOONIER THAN THIS.......

One thought that one had heard of every conceivable/inconceivable or then plausible/implausible reason for venting one's ire by letting loose a volley of shots from country made revolvers which are the rule rather than the exception in Akhilesh Yadav's Uttar Pradesh.......
 This one certainly takes the cake if not the entire bakery for it's sheer incredulity; imbecility and absurdity as cow or more precisely buffalo dung was the express motive behind this seemingly inexplicable shooting spree........
 The residents of Shahjahanpur District's Ashrafpur Village certainly will not forget the near fatal and life extinguishing/threatening events that unfolded within the mostly tranquil and serene environs of their beloved village on a particularly fateful and eventful Friday morning........
 Fellow villagers who dismissed an increasingly heinous; acrimonious; hedonistic and chagrined between two womenfolk or rather families who had co-existed peacefully and convivially for the last two decades and more over the petty and inconsequential issue of Rekha Pathak's (the victim) prized buffalo defecating or the shedding her burdens before her neighbour Baby Pathak's (the prime or main accused) home and hearth........
 They were literally forced to take cognisance of the increasingly fratricidal developments when the husband's of the two sparring and squabbling women also started contributing their two bits in the spat and were on the verge of intervening when the main accused Baby Pathak brandished or then whipped out a country made revolver out of the blue and let loose three shots within the virtual batting of an eyelid..........
 "Jaako Raakhe Saiyaan Maar Sakey Na Koi" and this age old dictum proved more than it's weight in gold as two of the three shots entirely missed their intended target while the third ended up piercing the victim's thigh and causing her a grievous though not fatal injury........
 Seeing his beloved wife unceremoniously crumpling to the ground and copiously bleeding from the bullet inflicted injury; the victim's husband rushed her to the village's primary health care centre where the on duty doctor performed a minor surgery and successfully extricated the bullet that had lodged itself in her thigh while the main accused and her comrade in arms (complicit husband) used the underlying confusion and mayhem to their advantage and fled the village post haste........
 Police personnel who were summoned to the spot by the on duty medical personnel at the said primary health centre duly proceeded to register an attempt to murder case against the two accused on the basis of the version of events narrated by the victim and other eyewitnesses and subsequently constituted two teams which have been expressly entrusted with the seemingly onerous responsibility of apprehending the absconding duo at the earliest.......
 This planet that scores of us exist on certainly seems to be getting more loonier and outlandish with each passing day.......

WELCOME TO THE AGE/ERA OF DIGITAL/CASHLESS BANKING

This humble and unassuming Agra based mechanical engineer certainly got a lot more than her bargained for or then envisaged when he tried to draw his very own hard earned money after spending close to three hours braving the elements; hunger pangs and unquenchable thirst in a seemingly never ending ATM queue........
 Sandeep Tiwari a mechanical engineer by profession and a mid level employee of a Rudrapur based factory was shocked beyond all reasonable and plausible belief when the statement drawn by him from the State Bank Of India ATM (attached to the branch where he had his bank account) impressed upon him the fact that he owed the bank an approximate amount of Rupees 100 crore........
Tiwari who ekes out a measly existence on the 25,000 odd thousand rupees that he draws by way of his monthly remuneration was literally shaken down to the very core of his existence when he set his eyes upon the figure mentioned in the bank statement that emanated from the innermost recesses of the said ATM machine on the fateful and eventful afternoon of November 30........
 Drawing or rather deducing the conclusion that both fate and the infamous ATM machine were playing a cruel and vicious joke on him; Tiwari decided to try his luck again as he was doubly sure of the fact that did not have more than Rs. 5,000/- in his bank account out of which he was trying to withdraw Rs. 2;500/- for his immediate needs but was stupefied when the second statement also reflected or then duplicated the figure mentioned on the first statement.......
 Somehow or the other; Sandeep managed to keep his collective wits and sanity around him and approached a bank official who duly impressed upon him the fact that the bank had temporarily blocked his account as he had failed to register his legally mandated KYC (know your account) details despite numerous reminders to the effect......
 Entering into a vitriolic and particularly vociferous argument with the senior bank official Tiwari drew his attention to the inexorable fact that he had opened a bank account in State Bank Of India way back in 2013 while he was pursuing or then in the process of completing his mechanical engineering degree from a Bichpuri based engineering college and had subsequently gotten the very same account transferred to a branch which was a stone's throw away from his home and hearth.......
 Matters somehow or the other drew to an inevitable and convivial conclusion when the said bank official graciously and officiously condescended to concede that the bank had indeed made and error and set right the offending anomaly as soon as Sandeep Tiwari proffered the requisite details as per the express requirements of the legally mandated "KYC" scheme.........
 Ladies/ gentlemen; fellow countrymen and women welcome to Narendra Modi's age of cashless/digital banking so and so forth.........

KINDLY DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS........

Bareilly police sleuths are literally going round the bend scratching their noggin' as to whether or not they should accept a gang rape complaint filed by a woman resident of an archetypal village in the district at face value and initiate a thorough and professional investigation to verify the bona fides/veracity of the complainants allegations made against the alleged perpetrators.......
 According to highly placed police sources/senior officers; the inherent contradictions and gaping holes in the supposed victims narrative are queering the pitch and only adding to their dilemma and the irrefutable fact that the imbroglio only came to light after the Chennai based victim of the purported rape survivor was brought up to speed and apprised of the sordid proceedings.........
 Succinctly surmising the piquant and mystifying situation; the Senior Superintendent of Police pointed out that the matter was brought to his notice by the woman in question on November 30 and according to the version of events narrated to him; the alleged victim who was at the end of her tether after spending three futile and unfruitful days in teeming queues before ATM's was drugged and abducted by a group of men while on her way to the very same ATM on the fourth consecutive day.........
 In her statement she further goes on to say that she was taken to a secluded and isolated modest atypical middle class dwelling where she was repeatedly sexually violated and defiled by three men for a minimum of twelve days before surreptitiously wending her way out of her veritable hell while her tormentors and torturers were missing in action..........
 She further goes on to claim that the local cops or then men in khakhi failed to either register her complaint or then register a FIR against the accused as a consequence/ corollary of which she was left with no other recourse other than directly approaching the office of the SSP at the behest of her sagely Chennai based husband.........
 While the SSP or then more precisely senior police officers within the SSP's office have duly registered her complaint and filed the much desired FIR against the alleged accused they are stupefied and flummoxed by the complainants pronounced inability to either remember the name of the area/locality and approximate whereabouts of the dwelling where she was confined for the twelve odd days as well as her differing/dithering and varying versions about the approximate physical descriptions of her supposed rapists who made no attempt whatsoever at either masking or obscuring their identities and visages........
 Rape most foul; reprehensible and repugnant or then a mere figment of an overactive; febrile; fervent and fertile imagination; well I will let each one of you draw their very own conclusions.........

WHAT MORE WILL IT TAKE?????.......

Will Odisha chief minister Navin Patnaik and his legions of self appointed/anointed sycophants; chamchas and boot lickers wake up from their self imposed procrastination and prevarication at long last.......
 In an abhorrent; avaricious; deplorable and bizarre incident right out of the annals of the "OLD STONE AGE" a life long resident of one of the medieval and archaic state's innumerable villages was literally forced to bury his beloved better half's mortal remains for eternity under an unceremonious and increasingly hideous mound of five discarded truck tyres without any customary rituals and prayers on account of the detestable and distasteful fact that he had been declared a "social outcaste" by his fellow villagers as his daughter had summoned up the guts and gumption to follow the dictates of her heart and marry a gent belonging or then hailing from a supposedly "inferior" caste.........
 In an almost exact reprisal/rerun of the heart rending scenes of a fellow Odishan carrying his wife's lifeless corpse on his shoulders for a distance of 12 odd kilometers; the gent in question also carried his wife's cadaver on his more than capable and willing shoulders for a distance of 5 odd kilometers to a nondescript and anonymous spot outside his village before performing this indescribable atrocity in glorious isolation.......
 A seemingly distraught; disconsolate and inconsolable Meghu Bhoi implored his relatives; friends; well wishers and fellow villagers to help him carry his more precious than life wife Sajana's remains to the designated burial site on the fateful and eventful Tuesday late afternoon but his entreaties were inhumanly and disdainfully dismissed as his daughter had committed a seemingly unpardonable sin and thereby brought the entire village into disrepute.......
 Left with little or then no other recourse Meghu hauled his beloved wife onto his shoulders for one very last time; carried his wife to the designated burial site; dug a shallow grave with his very own hands and subsequently proceeded to bury her under a mound of discarded truck tyres; leaves; twigs and other such materials........
 One wonders how many more such untold and demonic atrocities and human right violations will be needed to bring Messrs Patnaik and his ranks of chamchas to their collective senses........

WELCOME AND MUCH DESIRED SOCIAL INITIATIVE/CLEAN UP DRIVE.......

This pioneering; domineering and dare devil Belagavi based Samiti is not only ridding our decadent; decrepit; depraved and debased society of the ills/myths associated with the reprehensible twin practices of casting spells and the likes on both perceived and real enemies as well as eradicating prevalent beliefs about the same.......
 Most if not all Indians have seen every nook and cranny of their neighbourhood dotted/littered or then inundated with such paraphernalia like lemons smeared with vermilion and sindoor; black cloth or rag dolls whose bodies are obliterated with pins; broken coconuts; puffed rice and so on and so forth at intermittent intervals on any and every "Amavasya" (full moon night) as gullible souls believe that casting such "black magic and tantric" spells unto others will severely reduce if not completely alleviate their worldly burdens and travails........
 In a sterling and praiseworthy effort to rid the denizens of Belagavi city and its surrounding areas of this centuries old menace once and for all; the city based Andhashruddha Nirmulan Samiti (ANIS) carried out or then heralded a first of it's kind "dawn to dusk" drive expressly meant to eradicate the very last vestiges of these articles from the city's landscape.......
 Volunteers from the Samiti and other well intentioned folks were joined by members of Swatantrya Sainikara Uttaradhikari Sanghatana; Nirzaranand Bagicha Manch; District Marathi Journalists Association and such other notables in this drive that went on in various areas and localities between 6 am and 6 pm on Tuesday.......
 Briefing the curious; inquisitive and bewildered folks who gathered in droves to gape at the volunteers and others who literally swept the city of it's feet; Senior and Veteran activist Ram Apte quipped that this Samiti had been indulging in this drive on the next three days that succeeded or followed every "Amavasya" night for the last two and a bit years as the city's streets were literally reduced to a veritable garbage dump in the aftermath of every full moon night and made and earnest effort to educate the gathered folks about the futility and forlorness of these meaningless and obscure rituals and practices..........
To his credit he did certainly manage to convert more than a few believers onto his side while harbouring no illusions about the irrefutable and irrevocable fact that they were facing the daunting and seemingly insurmountable task of bringing crores of believers to their senses........