ON WAITERS, WAITRESSING AND SERVING

BY SUNNDEEP CHOPRA.

Waiter, Boy, Garcon, Here, Snap of the Fingers and last but not the least summons through a whistle are commonly resorted to terms of endearment which are in vogue when it comes to requisitioning the services or then attention of your friendly neighbourhood waiter.

Waiters almost seem like men from another planet, they more often than not shrug away the vilest of abuses without batting an eyelid, remain standing for hours on end without a whisper of complaint on their lips, maintain their poise, decorum and unflappable charm in the face of the gravest of provocations, and last but not the least serve out gourmet meals while making do a meal barely fit for human consumption themselves more often than not.

The ubiquitous English butler Jeeves has become the epitome of all things related to waiters and also been immortalized by P.G. Wodehouse in his plethora of work on a master/butler relationship, a stiff ramrod straight back, stiff upper lip, unflappable sense of decorum, inherent ability to put up with long and often inhuman hours of work, smile away your worries and temper tantrums while continuing to serve either a shrew or harridan without a cuss word or protest emanating from your lips and last but not the least pirouette like a ballerina through crowded aisles and passage ways are much sought after abilities or then desirable attributes in a stereotypical waiter.

Motion pictures or then moving images of all hues, budgets, in every language under the sun, with or without multi star casts and helmed by the crème de la crème of directors have served to establish or carve out a larger than life image of the humble waiter; waiters have doubled up as spies, police officers, undercover agents, enemies of the state and what have you. Waiters have unabashedly romanced their heroines, saved them from the clutches of the villain and his henchmen and even essayed the role of Sir Galahad when required, but, pray, tarry for a while and ponder on the fact that this is largely restricted to the silver screen and is a figment of the director’s vivid and over imaginative imagination.

Nimble footedness, almost inhuman balancing abilities, honouring the most banal of requests with a smile, answering the most idiotic query in a civilized manner and a razor sharp memory capable of imbibing every favoured customers’ quirks and eccentricities are the hallmarks of a waiter/butler cast in the Jeeves mould.

A multitude of schools, colleges, international and domestic hotel chains, clubs, resorts, lounges and their many counterparts have gone about setting up or establishing training schools wholly devoted to imparting the desired and much sought after skills and their related websites would be the ideal place to glean information on the minutest details pertaining to the profession. The pay is nothing to write home about and the hours of work are long and undulating, but the tips are the proverbial icing on the cake.